Sporkchucks (Sporkchaku)

From the long and critically acclaimed line of Sporks You Can Fight With (dating back to August, 2012) comes this newest variation -- perfect for devouring southeast Asian foods.

With all eight links installed, the Sporkchaku deliver a bone-crushing blow, and the tongs serve as claws that grip and tear at clothing. Before you know it, your opponent will be entirely nude, so choose your opponent wisely.

WARNING: This is an extremely dangerous and highly weaponized eating utensil, and may not be legal in all jurisdictions.

HIDDEN FEATURE: Unlock the hidden feature by inviting a love interest to share a sundae. After immobilizing the waitress (she was secretly a ninja), insist that the Sporkchaku be used for the sundae as a sign of wanton solidarity. As the spoons are used to shovel the food, you will find that the chain pulls your lips together. DO NOT BITE at this time.