Chinese Throwing Spork (hire-shuriken)

These are trying times, folks, and nothing should be taken for granted -- especially proximity. The Sporkle Axepult's hidden feature gave it a bit of distance, and the Sporkchucks could be thrown in a pinch, but blunt force simply doesn't cut it.

So, I present to you the Chinese Throwing Spork (hira-shuriken) -- an extremely menacing long-range instant-kill eating utensil. (Yes, I know the term "Chinese Throwing [Whatever]" is a western abomination, but that's what I grew up calling it for whatever reason.)

HIDDEN FEATURE: Hunt and capture up to five grapes -- one for each set of tongs. Balance the Chinese Throwing Spork on the tip of your finger and invite four friends to enjoy a simultaneous solidarity grape. The spork will remain lodged inside the grape of the secret ninja in your midst. If it falls to the ground, you're all safe.

PERFORMANCE TIP: To access the southpaw feature of this spork, simply transfer it to your left hand prior to throwing.

Other Sporks Of Fury:

• Sporkle Axapult: http://www.thingiverse.com/thing:28417
• Sporkchucks: http://www.thingiverse.com/thing:28485